Are your raising a monster? Giving children what is need.. and some of what they want.

Recently in a Facebook.group I’m in, a question arose about raising materialistic versus realistic children. This is near and dear to me. To give a bit of a back drop, I’m currently a mother of four children, ranging from eight  years old to three months old. When growing up I really didn’t  focus on clothing and other materialistic things until I was in high school and able to work to buy my own clothing.

When I receive one of my first paychecks some new shoes were out. The high heel timberland boot. They retailed at $120. That was practically my whole pay check! So I had to decide, Do I want these jazzy new shoes and no money for two weeks, or save my money and get them later. I decide to satisfy both. I shopped arriving and ended up paying. 40 bucks for some that look the same as the Timberlake boots, but without the price nor the tree emblem.

That leads me into the question: so we raise our children to be realistic or materialistic?  I’ve notice today that the media has pushed so much products onto our child’s forefront that’s is very difficult to dodge. This time of the year,just turning on the tv will have you going broke. I’m trying my best to have well rounded, compassionate, balanced children. I feel if we give them everything they want,  when they can’t have it, then what?

If I gave my daughter every new pair of shoes, clothing, or gadget that came out ,when I couldn’t me that demand anymore because of being laid off, a decrease of finances, or the child has gotten the privilege taken away What would she do to get them? Or on the other spectrum a child who never experienced new things because the parent didn’t have it or wanted to raise them frugal., you could possibly be creating a monster.

From Personal experience, I’ve seen where a child was raise a certain lifestyle, where image is everything. When the family walks out the fore,  everyone had to have on new clothing,Jordan’s and fresh hair cuts

. When the lifestyle couldn’t  be maintained the child stated acting out.  Also, see where a has went without any new clothing etcetera,  when getting to the age of making their own decisions,after being picked on my other children, they began to want what others have by any means necessary. That can lead to the child being rebellious,  stealing selling drugs,ans stealing to keep up with current fads. Both ends of the spectrums leads to unhealthy life styles if proper balance is not implemented effectively. We must raise our children to have a form of delayed gratification.

One way I teach my kids balance is enhancing their own personality, in which for the.most part is working. My son is four and will wear nothing but dusty cowboy boots, but on the other hand I have an eight year old who is self assured,but when in school is sometimes shunned  if she doesn’t have on the lastest high priced tennis shoes. Another fun family adventure that will help your child to have a healthy balance is taking them thrifting or yard selling. It will help them understand that beauty isn’t always in new items, sometimes use item are just as effective and stylish.  I’ll leave you with a quote that I most graciously stand by:

Do not educate Your child to be rich, educate him to be happy. when He grows up he will know the value of things, not the price.

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understandingdee

I love me!

6 thoughts on “Are your raising a monster? Giving children what is need.. and some of what they want.”

  1. Balance is good… I believe children should earn extras…example.. If my boys want those shoes,they are going to have to earn them. I want them to understand the value of earning and grinding for yours and also introduce them early in the arena of making decisions with their coins(do you need this video game or the rib cage for football) of course their needs and wants will be met but the majority of the extras are going to rely on if they are willing to go the extra mile and work,save and sacrifice for them.. Great article!

    1. Thanks for reading. Also, I agree we mist reach our kids about making healthy financial decision early in life so they won’t unknowingly falter In adulthood and can’t pay their bills, or buy meaningless things loose value

  2. ok i had to figure out how not to keep signing in..but yes,though thing lose monetary value,(and this is just me) doesn’t mean they don’t hold sentimental value.Im the prime example for wasting money on bs..Ive learned a lot from that,and regret somethings but other times i don’t because i really enjoyed it..i guess my thing is can you afford it and we often(me included) THINK we can and really can’t. Thats what i struggled with for a while..thinking i can afford something and relying on my “i know how to get it,ill get it back” mentality.

  3. Daily I struggle with how to become a better parent for my kids. Literally the other day… I said EFF IT ALL. No, they will have humility, they will understand hard work, they will get this lesson because I am going to teach it to them! — My kids are NO strangers to the toy section. A recent re-evaluation of what is important for them to know has caused me to really crack down on giving them what they want.

    My boys have to save their money, their grand dad has began savings accounts for them as well. Teaching them the value and importance of saving is important, it’s something I was taught but didnt necessarily do. Now that I am an adult, I get it.

    As a family I feel like we have TOO many THINGS… when life is far simpler than we make it.

    I want my children to understand the importance of knowledge, self awareness, growth and how to manage their finances.. big or small.

    I Do not want them to be imbalanced.. coveting things others have because they did not/don’t have those things… and I do not want them to be sooooooooooooo focused on being frugal that they never enjoy the things they like with moderation…

  4. Usually they deomonstrate a few happy people swimming in piles
    of cash and earn it look like they are the number one solution to your whole financial troubles.

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